Friday, November 30, 2012

Indescribable Pain

I had my post-op appointment last week where I asked questions and learned a little more about my results.   During my surgery, I had a laparoscopy to discover, diagnose and burn endometriosis, a D&C to remove polyps that were benign and an endometrial ablation to try to help with heavy bleeding/clotting that leaves me anemic.

What I continue to learn is that our reproductive organs are very complex as is the rest of our bodies.  It is amazing how we humans managed to survive that evolutionary process (sarcasm).  I completely believe in the one true God who is the author of all life.   We are created by an intelligent designer. 

Also, I believe that our lives are sometimes filled with illness and suffering because we live in a fallen world.  Our creator gave us free will.  Man chose to sin.  A fallen world is far from perfect and becomes less so all the time.  There will be disease and illness and natural disasters as well as manmade disasters. 

I cannot remember ever not believing  someone who complained of pain, but I am sure that I never will pass judgment on anyone again if they are complaining of pain.  I know there are people who seek pain meds from hospitals and doctors and truly have an addiction problem but it seems likely to me that it began with real pain requiring a need for pain meds.

It’s possible the endometriosis that was burned away during my laparoscopy could have caused my pain which means I should see improvement for a while.  Or it’s possible that the endometriosis that was on or around my ureters and could not be burned because of risk of damaging them is causing my pain.  Or there’s another possibility.  Endometriosis can be in the muscle tissue of the uterus.  This was new endometriosis information that I was not familiar with.  The name for it is adenomyosis. This could be my problem. 

I have figured out that at least some of my day-to-day discomfort has improved.  I thought the reason I hated getting up from sitting on the sofa and despised sitting on the floor and having to get up and down during music class was because I am getting old.  Apparently a lot of that discomfort was due to endometriosis that has been removed because, so far, I have noticed that it no longer feels so bad bad to get up off the floor or out of a seat.  Maybe I’m not as old as I have been feeling.

It’s too early to tell if the indescribable pain has improved.  This is the pain that is difficult to explain to someone including the doctor.  He was not convinced based on my explanation of my pain that he should do a laparoscopy because my pain is or was atypical for gynecological problems but I am glad he agreed to do it and found what he found so now I know why I have pain.  The indescribable pain really is that.  Indescribable.  As I told my doctor, I’ve never broken a bone or been shot or stabbed so it’s hard to compare it.  He thinks I am very analytical.  Ha.  A lot of good it does me to be analytical at this point. 

I told him that c-sections do not hurt compared to this indescribable pain.  I told him that it is kind of like having a bad charlie horse cramp but inside the pelvis.  At least when you get those cramps in a calf muscle, you can do something about it to help… like pull your toes back to stretch out the tendons or rub it out.   When it happens inside your body, all you can do is freeze until it goes away and try not to move because moving makes it hurt worse if that’s even possible. 

So over the next few months, I wait.  I wait to see if the pain returns during my periods.  Or if any of the other pain returns.  I am encouraged that I am a bit more mobile than I was before.  I try to think positively yet realistically.    

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