Indescribable Pain

I had my post-op appointment last week where I asked questions and learned a little more about my results.   During my surgery, I had a laparoscopy to discover, diagnose and burn endometriosis, a D&C to remove polyps that were benign and an endometrial ablation to try to help with heavy bleeding/clotting that leaves me anemic.

What I continue to learn is that our reproductive organs are very complex as is the rest of our bodies.  It is amazing how we humans managed to survive that evolutionary process (sarcasm).  I completely believe in the one true God who is the author of all life.   We are created by an intelligent designer. 

Also, I believe that our lives are sometimes filled with illness and suffering because we live in a fallen world.  Our creator gave us free will.  Man chose to sin.  A fallen world is far from perfect and becomes less so all the time.  There will be disease and illness and natural disasters as well as manmade disasters. 

I cannot remember ever not believing  someone who complained of pain, but I am sure that I never will pass judgment on anyone again if they are complaining of pain.  I know there are people who seek pain meds from hospitals and doctors and truly have an addiction problem but it seems likely to me that it began with real pain requiring a need for pain meds.

It’s possible the endometriosis that was burned away during my laparoscopy could have caused my pain which means I should see improvement for a while.  Or it’s possible that the endometriosis that was on or around my ureters and could not be burned because of risk of damaging them is causing my pain.  Or there’s another possibility.  Endometriosis can be in the muscle tissue of the uterus.  This was new endometriosis information that I was not familiar with.  The name for it is adenomyosis. This could be my problem. 

I have figured out that at least some of my day-to-day discomfort has improved.  I thought the reason I hated getting up from sitting on the sofa and despised sitting on the floor and having to get up and down during music class was because I am getting old.  Apparently a lot of that discomfort was due to endometriosis that has been removed because, so far, I have noticed that it no longer feels so bad bad to get up off the floor or out of a seat.  Maybe I’m not as old as I have been feeling.

It’s too early to tell if the indescribable pain has improved.  This is the pain that is difficult to explain to someone including the doctor.  He was not convinced based on my explanation of my pain that he should do a laparoscopy because my pain is or was atypical for gynecological problems but I am glad he agreed to do it and found what he found so now I know why I have pain.  The indescribable pain really is that.  Indescribable.  As I told my doctor, I’ve never broken a bone or been shot or stabbed so it’s hard to compare it.  He thinks I am very analytical.  Ha.  A lot of good it does me to be analytical at this point. 

I told him that c-sections do not hurt compared to this indescribable pain.  I told him that it is kind of like having a bad charlie horse cramp but inside the pelvis.  At least when you get those cramps in a calf muscle, you can do something about it to help… like pull your toes back to stretch out the tendons or rub it out.   When it happens inside your body, all you can do is freeze until it goes away and try not to move because moving makes it hurt worse if that’s even possible. 

So over the next few months, I wait.  I wait to see if the pain returns during my periods.  Or if any of the other pain returns.  I am encouraged that I am a bit more mobile than I was before.  I try to think positively yet realistically.    

Eggless Desserts on Thanksgiving

I thought of my grandmother often today as I cooked Thanksgiving for us and my brother and niece.   I have very few memories of her that are not in the kitchen.  I think she was one of the best cooks.  She also frequently would make our favorite desserts.  She made a really good apple crumble for me.   I still miss her.   It does not seem possible she has been gone over 18 years. 

 

I made some new desserts so that my kids could have egg-free corn-free sweets.  I have learned that it is impossible to buy pie crust that does not contain corn syrup or other corny ingredients.  It is frustrating how much corn is used in prepackaged foods.

Eggless Pumpkin Pie

Apple pie.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies – Eggless

Back to Normal… Almost

Well, eight days out from surgery I am pretty much back to normal except I am not wearing jeans yet.  I can get them on but they squeeze a little too much for the incision in my belly button. I’d be okay on my feet but sitting is a bit uncomfortable so I’ll keep wearing elastic waist pants for a while longer. 

Today is my post-op appointment where I get to find out more details and ask lots of questions (I hope). 

I checked out some books at the library with my teacher card yesterday.  That is how I found out that six weeks from yesterday is December 31.  Really??  Wow. 

Post Op

The procedures I had on Monday almost did not happen because my doctor was busy delivering a baby.  I prayed for a safe delivery while in the back of my mind, I was thinking about what I would order at the first restaurant we would pass on the way, and how I would manage to do all of this again.  But, as it worked out, my surgery went on as expected with only a short delay.   It then lasted approximately 1 hr 20 minutes. 

Many big words in my vocabulary recently.  Colonoscopy.  Urology.  Laparoscopy.  Hysteroscopy.  Dilation & Curettage (D & C).  Endometrial Ablation.   I have been iron-deficient and have had bad pains which led up to all of these appointments, procedures, etc. 

Colonoscopy and Urology checked out okay.  Laparoscopy was to go take a look and ended up being the diagnostic tool for Endometriosis which I had quite a bit of according to my husband who learned it from the doctor.  I will go to see the doctor next week and get the rest of the details.  Some of the endometriosis could not be removed due to location.  I am anxious to find out if it is something that a urologist can take care of. 

Anyway, now that we know the source of my episodes of excruciating pain, I hope there will be a plan of some kind. 

Not knowing whether the worse of my pain is from what he removed or is from what he left in or both makes me a little nervous. 

On the positive side of things, that was probably one of the easiest procedures to be put out for and to wake up after.  I did not have that groggy hangover feeling like I usually have for hours.  So, perhaps a different anesthesia or maybe a different pain med than I have had in the past.  The downside is that I am still wired and have not needed much sleep.  

I woke up in recovery coughing my head off.  I ended up wheezing quite a bit and have still had some today.  Hopefully that will continue to clear up.  I must have been irritated by the tube or drainage had been pushed down when they inserted the tube.  I have no idea but the nurses did not seem to be familiar with that, although one nurse was wise enough to bring me a Sprite because the bubbles can help and they did.  I did not request a carbonated drink because of the likelihood of having gas pains from the laparoscopy.  So far so good on that so they must have done a real good job de-inflating me.  I have also had some serious prayer warrior friends praying for each step and concern that I have had. 

This is the first time for me to be sitting in the computer chair.  Everyone took a trip to Target which leaves me with a very quiet and peaceful house.  I am heading back to bed though so I can stretch out which is less painful.  I cannot post to my blog from my Kindle so decided to sit down for a few and give an update. 

General Anesthetic in the Afternoon? Really?

I am having a couple of procedures today while under general anesthetic.   The worst part I think is that it is not until mid-afternoon.  It should be against the law to schedule people for general anesthetic after 12:00 p.m.  This means no food after midnight.  I can have clear liquids up until 7 hours prior to the procedure.  Trust me, I took full advantage of that and probably drank a gallon of coffee, broth, juice and water up until the last minute.  I am the type who carries a cup of water with me at all times and I drink it.   Speaking of drinking, I will make a plug for  Tervis Tumblers.  These tumblers come in all sizes and you can get matching lids.  They do not sweat with ice and you can also drink hot liquids in them.  They fit easily in your vehicle cup holders.  They come in many different designs.  They are great for helping you stay hydrated.  This is not a paid commercial advertisement. 

I have several things I want or need to do today but am hesitant as I do not want anything making me thirsty.  However, the time will pass more quickly if I keep busy.   And I am afraid I will forget and get a drink of water just out of habit.  It may be a long morning.  I have put my cups away so I will remember. 

I could check out Pinterest which could keep me busy for hours, but there are a lot of mouth-watering photos of delicious recipes that would probably make the day even longer. 

Blogging is a good option but I cannot think of much to blog about.

We will work on school when the kids get up and going, but hunger distracts me and makes me grumpy so it will definitely be a modified school day.  They will get to do some school on the computer and it is a good thing they both like to read because I have several books for them to work on and I saved coloring pages from last week’s history so they can work on those.   We have a GeoSafari which is a great tool for school.  They enjoy being quizzed on topics.  I have been blessed with several cards to go in the game with a variety of subjects. 

Well, my son is awake now and ready to do school.  Not.  Instead, he has been telling me what his Christmas list will be.  He is saving up for an iPod Touch so money is his list plus he wants two more things, he says.  I told him it will depend on what those two things are.  I shall be receiving this in writing any minute now. 

Time to get busy.  Tummy is rumbling.  Must stay focused. 

Time4Learning Review

Over the next 30 days, I will be reviewing Time4Learning's online education program. It can be used as a homeschool curriculum, an afterschool tutorial or for summer learning. My opinion will be entirely my own, so be sure to come back and read about my experience. You can write your own curriculum review, too!

Abortion Thoughts

The negative campaigning for this election required some tough lessons be taught to our children. For example, what negative campaigning is and how important it is to research and know the truth rather than rely on commercials. But also, to teach what rape and abortion are. If you believe abortion is okay on any level, and if you have any children… be sure they know where babies come from… how an egg is fertilized and implanted inside the womb… and then tell them that abortion is removing that life. Then look at their faces. Kids get it. They understand how “choice” means they might not have been born. It’s only as we grow older and become selfish that anyone can convince themselves that abortion is ok. Seeing the reaction on my children’s faces once they realized what abortion means confirms for me that my beliefs will stand. There is not a single reason that would ever cause me to not have wanted any of my children to be born. I am so thankful that the birth mom of one of my children did not “choose” abortion. Her life is precious.

Watch this video. Their lives are precious too. They are the voice of those who have no choice. http://youtu.be/BqeBHTxPkeA

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Election Results

Sharing these words from someone else as I agree with this: 

1 Samuel: 8 begins the account of the people of Israel rejecting the headship of God and living under his principles and commands. They demand to have a king chosen to follow and rule over them. You have heard the saying, "be careful what you ask for...you just might get it". Well, that's what happened. King Saul came

to power, ruled godlessly and pridefully, and the entire nation suffered and struggled in everyway.
Tonight I believe America has acted as the people of Israel did; rejected God and his principles, and instead have chosen a king, who many but not most believe can care for them and give them what they want. But, if you read the rest of the account, you will discover that only when the people turn back to following God first and electing a leader "after God's own heart", do they receive what their hearts truely desire and need. I pray America does not have to endure what the people of Israel suffered through, but I fear we will.

 

And then these verses from Romans 1 which are heavy on my heart:

¹⁸ The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, ¹⁹ since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. ²⁰ For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

²¹ For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. ²² Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools ²³ and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.

²⁴ Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. ²⁵ They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

²⁶ Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. ²⁷ In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

²⁸ Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. ²⁹ They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, ³⁰ slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; ³¹ they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. ³² Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.